How should I feel , this Christmas?

It is December 21st, I’ve dropped my sweetie, (JK) off at the airport. She is enroute to Montreal…Going back WEST , to see her family, for Christmas. It has been 2 years. I am happy for her, for  I know there is NO substitute for family at Christmas…This is going to be a groundbreaking Christmas for me, as it will be for my siblings. Life and death are nothing new, they have been going on since creation. We hear all the time about “so and so passing away”, or “the ——-‘s had a little girl, last week”.  We don’t REALLY pay attention, unless it really IMPACTS us. It’s not that Christmas isn’t a joyful time. I do love the way that folks are generally just a wee bit nicer, or the way that stores have a hum about them. The lights, reflected on the snow, especially the blue and green ones, always make me feel wistful…Like I should be somewhere, or doing something more…Meaningful.  I think this year  I will seek to volunteer somewhere. I AM working on Christmas eve, and truly, I’m glad that I will be.  It’ll feel good to see some faces in need of perhaps, some cheering up. Maybe on Christmas day, I could honor my Mom, and cook a meal for someone, just because. The idea of someone NOT having some sort of Christmas dinner, or worse still, going hungry, is abhorrent to me. I feel blessed that I can  sit here, at my desk and actually ponder what to do. There are millions of people that won’t have the resources to feed every member of their families…I am content, but have a somewhat empty feeling, a longing for Christmases past, at a gigantic dining room table , swathed in a white linen cloth and laden with all manner of  “Oma food”.. Roast beef, and Turkey. Rogenbrot, and speck.. Steamed pudding, with Bird’s custard sauce… Kartofel and Gravy…It wasn’t just the eats, but the people at the table..It didn’t matter what your hair looked like, or if you had a patch over one eye. Christmas was a time of warmth, and good will.  Even though I was spoiled rotten by my Oma and Opa, the Christmas message was NOT lost on me:  God sent his son to be born in a stable, on a winter’s eve. For that I am eternally grateful. I find it comforting that, the older I get the less I want…Things….At this time of year…I cherish the time spent with those that I love, and their absence, at this time of year anyways, really makes the heart ache for them…I hope your Christmas is blessed, and full of family, food and fellowship, and that it brings you all…. JOY to last…

2012-12-25_12-16-10_465-1 2012-12-24_19-22-02_816 2012-12-24_19-20-24_211 tater

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