When a Mom is lost

DSCN0092The glue that holds a family together. The unconditional love. The day set aside for her. The smells from her kitchen…..All of these things spell: MOM.  Mine was no exception.  She raised 3 children , admirably, well, the jury is still out on your’s truly…Did the accounting for Dad’s business, was the quintessential figure in our house, and was involved in numerous church and volunteer activities…Her example of perseverance, faith and commitment I know, is matched by OTHER moms, but I can only attest to this MOM…She died on Saturday, October 12th, at about 1015 in the evening. She had been reading her bible, and when attempting to return it to her nightstand, it must have toppled onto the floor. As she tried vainly to arise, out of bed to return it to it’s place, she must have had a sudden loss of balance, and hit her head on the nightstand…When the night nurse found her, she was still on her knees…I am going to take a moment here, to compose myself, as I seek to quell the tears that are threatening to overwhelm me again, because there is a message in this for all of me. My mom spent a lot of time on her knees. She was a firm believer in prayer, and the power of prayer. She had spent the last 16 years being what my dad needed, as he spiraled downward dealing with Alzheimers…No small feat. In the last 3 years, she had seen one thing after another , TAKEN from her:  Her husband to a long term care facility, her vehicle, her house, her autonomy, her decision making ability, her control over even the most basic things that we all take for granted. Mom’s ALS wreaked a terrible toll on her psyche, and at times even her will…..The one constant in all of this, was her FAITH.  At times I would ask her if she was ever mad at GOD?  “No, she said, he sustains me, and lifts me above my trials when I pray “…It made me angry , at times when she would respond this way.  I even had the gall to think it was rhetoric, but I was wrong. Mom walked the walk….She never preached, never complained, never wanted for someone else’s so and so. She just WAS….I have had the privilege and blessing to have spent the last 2 years of her life with her…Literally. I  was entrusted with her care, as long as she could remain autonomous.  I cooked, and baked and prepared her food.  I tried to be what she needed…It was a learning experience for me. I failed , miserably , many times. I suppose the gist of this post is: Our Mom’s spend a good part of their life caring, worrying, doing  and being for us, what we really don’t deserve. It’s crucial that we be thankful, ALL the time, not just when society tells us to run out, and spring for flowers and chocolates, once a year. Mom’s are a precious commodity, a gift from God, something to be cherished WHILE they’re here with us…Hug your mom, tell her that you love her….Just because…. Mom oban


2 thoughts on “When a Mom is lost

  1. She certainly was, a loving, caring, respectful, trusting, faithful daughter, sister, wife, mother and most importantly, child of God. She touched the lives of every one she met, even if the encounter was a brief one. You always walked away, a little taller, a little wiser and oh so loved!

    She loved me for me…….I loved her for who she was. That was and still is, the best feeling in the world, to be completely loved, just because.

    My hope is to continue her legacy, in the giving of her love and trust, so freely, without judgement.

  2. Anthony: Thank you for sharing your heart regarding your Mom. Every time I think of dear Lydia, it is something related to Joy!! Her smile and faithfulness were infectious! One great memory our family cherishes regarding your Mom was up north. The Parnells and our Sloan boyfriends were invited to spend the day to waterski etc. Your Dad would yell out….’HIT IT, Lyd’.and us novices would laugh so hard we could hardly get up on the waterskis! The day slipped into a rainy one and we sat around the table laughing and joking! All this was less than a year before my Dad died ( he wasn’t too well) but we has the best day with your family!! Your Mom had us in stitches laughing so hard…we played penny poker, board games, did needlepoint and enjoyed the sweetness of being together…a taste of Heaven! Looking forward to that great reunion. I bet my Dad and your Mom are rejoicing together….whole, free and reveling in the love of their wonderful Savior Jesus Christ!

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